sihua.

Goodbam

2011-07-24T12:30:00.001+08:00

이제 다시 one better day

2011-06-26T20:49:00.005+08:00

아이씨..정말 정말 피곤해요. 사람 피곤해..그들의 만도 안되는..

Hence, expect a new change to come.. 기다려 주세요..

Meanwhile, I'll stay happy ^^~

여러분 기다려 주세요~

내사랑기광오빠 ~

2011-05-28T16:27:00.008+08:00

사랑해요 오빠~~♥ !

숨이가빠와 가숨이아파 ~

Totally into 기광오빠 now ㅋㅋ He's totally my type omg perfecto! Charms, looks, masculine, ahh 완벽가남자!! I'd love to see him as a solo artist (back as GK/AJ, whichever), I just love his voice and moves <3

So anyway, I have only a few days left to make a choice and to be honest, I was surprised I even got a choice lol. I wasn't expecting anything at all. But both are decent and both have their perks so .. 어떻게 ?! And there's lots of camps coming my way which is ㅠㅠ ~

But whatever choice I make in the end, let's hope it's a good one!

And life is getting busier and busier day by day, I'll miss slacking ㅠㅠ

Under the impression that things were fine, for the longest time

2011-04-28T19:16:00.002+08:00

Received the letter and the text, and I definitely have to thank God for that. Just hoping that the interview would go well and I would be quick enough on my feet to answer their (I suppose) tough questions. And hopefully it'll be one-on-one, then I would be able to showcase myself thoroughly as compared to sharing it with others. But still I'm half-half on which to choose up until now. Guess that'll have to wait since there's only one confirmed currently. Better not get my hopes up too soon.

Anyhow, I'll be pretty busy from now til June oh gosh. Have got so much to prepare and study for! Five things in fact! Think I'll have to bid bye bye to my slacking time already ):

Don't hold on to things that don't wanna stay

2011-04-08T15:31:00.003+08:00

종현오빠 생일 축하합니다~

Happy 21st to my favourite boy on Earth! <3 Stay handsome and keep honing that beautiful, sexy voice of yours! Will always support your decisions my dear jjong <3

Found way(s) to better utilise my time at home and I'm loving it ! I feel like I'm giving my rusty brain a wash and scrubbing out all the rust accumulated looool. Its been a while since I've learnt something totally brand new, but I love challenges if you still dont know lol. The tougher, the better. Bring it on!

Kay back to learning and being a serious student lol.

This lethal attraction

2011-03-25T16:33:00.005+08:00

Submitted application for two out of three, and really hoping for nothing but the best. Still left with one more but I'm feeling lazy today so I'll leave it to Sunday to submit ha. PLEASE SBS/FoS ACCEPT ME AS YOUR WONDERFUL UNDERGRADUATE PLEASE. Shall be paranoid of notifications and bring my phone anywhere and everywhere with me from now on lol.

It's hard to type with long nails anyway, just a random thought.

And I've been wondering what to do with so much time on hand right now. It's March now and I've worked two months away without much realization so I don't think work is a beneficial trade off for me anyway. Always felt that there was more to just working and earning money, I mean I don't need it right now and this long break only comes once right? At least for me anyway.

Looking at pictures on Tumblr makes me feel like I should travel around Europe once more (cash cash cash). Wouldn't it be really awesome when you get to spend days just exploring around Louvre Museum and get to see Starry Night, Mona Lisa, etc all with your own eyes? And picnic and do absolutely nothing outside some grand historical building just because. And then dine at some diner from 9 in the morning to 9 at night and not having to squeeze with people on trains and living everyday so frantically. Pursuing some form of art and making a living out of it and not studying what everyone's studying because that's what society says. But it does sound too idealistic in a way..but I would love to get a chance to learn pottery!

And I like the feeling of being anonymous in a foreign land, I just do

Oh, I feel like a chef when I invent my own recipes, which either turn out to be too salty or unhealthy or making a mess out of the kitchen. Ha! And cleaning up's no fun at all! And I smell like shit after cooking, hence never bathe first then cook, you'll smell like a disasterrrr!

I sound like a housewife ._.

Is it just me or is time passing by way too fast this year? It's like 2010 on weed lol

Kay off to start reading my 4 lib books with 5 days left before their loan due. Lol not gonna make it in time (always happens ._. not amused seriously)

This is the beginning of the end

2011-03-05T10:11:00.004+08:00

Felt like that when I got it in my hands. Luckily it wasn't any worse, I think I'd have killed myself if it was and I am honestly grateful for what I have though they are not fantastic but they're alright to me. Felt that I've shown great improvement and that's what matters (you try jumping 5 grades for basically every subj and then tell me what it feels like okay). But is it enough for Spore? I don't think so but I hope it is, please.

Hopefully I'll be able to get into the course I want pretty please

Oh and fake bitches need to gtfo my life srsly, dl max

Lol, and I'm more or less shocked by -'s relentlessness, keeps trying and trying one lol, srsly man (not amused)

Putting all my hopes into this

2011-03-02T22:43:00.002+08:00

Nuff said, 04032011 please please please be merciful at the very least please.

Incertitude

2011-02-24T15:03:00.002+08:00

Free soul here! (woohoo)

Love it when I needn't slog out my guts with stacks of data entry and carry heavy boxes like imma tough-muscular guy-who-can-handle-1000000kg-without-breaking-a-sweat, and I'm mostly watching anime and angmoh shows and tumblr-ing and listening to good music and clinging tightly onto the last week of ignorant bliss before results release. Oh gosh, that will be sincerely, honestly, the most asdfghjkl shit ever. I tink it'd be even more asdfghjkl than Os hm.

Please let me get into the local U please please please ):

Really fretting like nobody's business these days.

Anyway, feel like picking up my guitar and learning some songs online ya know, miss my guitar lol. But I think I've forgotten how to read notes already and I'm clueless about tabs OOPS. Meh, gonna dig them all out next week. Oh, and I should go for a swim soon, before the results release hm.

Worried like asdfghjkl

I'm not sorry for the things you think I should be sorry of

2011-02-09T21:38:00.004+08:00

Idk why, how, when, exactly when did I became like this. Its just this tiredness, this feeling of being so exhausted it consumes you from the inside out. Its like wanting to be at some place one second, then not the next. Its like being split into so many parts and not knowing which to follow, which to pick up and which to let go. Its like wanting to run, to run away from everything and leave everything behind and never look back, and then rushing back to square one.

Its like wanting to trust in whatever people say again, to just plainly trust them and take their words at face value, but I just can't. I don't know how I can't, I tried to just trust, but I can't. Its like doubts automatically form and I can't even shake them off. I don't want to be like this, do you know? I didn't want the past to let it become a part of me, to scar me, I didn't want this, I didn't want to become like that. Do you know doubting is hard? It takes a toll, everything, by everyone, just seems to be lies layered with lies then iced with lies. And then maybe not. See? And sometimes I just wish to not even exist you know, so I won't have feelings, and so I won't feel pain, and so I ... won't be like this.

And I guess sometimes people forget that I too have feelings, and .. Idk how but somehow, its always being crushed on. I could rip my heart out on a silver platter and give it to people with both hands, and still, there would be something to criticize on, to fault on. I'm not saying its always the fault of others, but its just that I can't see where I'm headed right now, and I don't know where this will take me. And then there was loneliness which drove that dagger, in that already torn heart, deeper with a hard shove. I thought I was stronger, but I wasn't. Its just..being so needy of everyone when no one needs you.

If I don't show my feelings would things have been better? If I just obscured some part I could take it all back. But I can't have it back, and I don't want it back. I don't want to always be the one trying, crying. I get tired too. I have feelings too. Sometimes, a little bit goes a long way. I just want to be appreciated, little things, big things. Remembered, little things, big things. When you've been let go of so many times, you can't remember what it feels like to be held on. Idk how I feel, and its like being in a labyrinth with a blindfold. I shouldn't cry anymore I know, but what if the tears don't stop flowing?

Its been a long time coming

2011-02-02T17:43:00.005+08:00

Met up with the boys on the last day of jan and man does time pass fast huh, like its now cny already, cannot.believe.it. I digress. Anw, spent a really jolly good time with them even though we talked about things both light and heavy. Hee :D Bowling then K-ed but I was sooooo late, sorry zt and kr )): Missed kr alot and was so glad I got to see him finally maha.

Oh and bowling was so suayyyyy oh gosh, more hyphens than 123456789 all add up together haha worse! LOL but okay la, at least there werent much people there you know (sly smile).

Room wasnt really big like omgawd big like last time but hey, I like it cosy. Chi+eng+korean we like rojak I like! And I was like Hello-ing then Kr was like Hello Hello!, and same for RDD, shinee fans liao ♥ ! And fuck yeah singing together! ♥

<3333333

Gonna be like all alone when all the guys go into army and stuff FRIGGING SAD MAX. Hopefully next outing will be a success (: Miss them already!

I sense March's impending doom, maybe I shld take time to re-read my notes, just in case? Hm frumps.

If losing means winning

2011-01-30T12:17:00.004+08:00

"Learn to let go of the past, and recognize that every day won’t be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair, remember it’s only in the black of night that you see the stars, and those stars will lead you back home. So don’t be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time, the greatest rewards come from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you’ll get everything you wish for. Maybe you’ll get more than you ever could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination."

-One Tree Hill

seeing of old friends + super kind/warm gestures = made my day basically (:

Touched !

The tears that run down my cheeks

2011-01-28T22:07:00.002+08:00

Its not those who promise you forever, its those that stick with you even when forever doesn't come. Its not those who have spent the longest time with you, its those who continue to do so even when you expect them to leave. Its not about how much you give, its about how much you get back in return. Maybe it takes a hard fall to know where you really stand even if you're still lost and bleary. Maybe abandonment exists to remind you how important are those that still hold on and never let go. Maybe it takes some form of betrayal to see who's really loyal to you. Maybe I won't be the same from now, not ever because one can only shatter so many times before the soul is permanently damaged. Maybe you've never faced the same circumstances thrice to feel like all hope is lost, but I have. Because a part of me gets left behind in those old times, the times where I gave unconditionally and without restriction, without fear, and those parts will forever be lost in those that I've handed my trust to but was ultimately, crushed and stepped on.

But why

2011-01-27T20:12:00.003+08:00

FUCK YEAH I'M BACK ;D
-
so it's still you being there for yourself in the end, isn't it not

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

2011-01-25T20:33:00.002+08:00

Seriously man, what.the.fuck.dude. Thanks to fucking awesome trojan, I'll be mia until ? D: I will die w/o a computer!!!! Hence, importance and brillance of an iphone. Damn it (korean style) !@#$%

Btw, I'm not actually online on msn since its the workings of the virus and well, dont accept any links sent, it'll prolly be another virus by a virus.

-..- Dude, seriously, I will die without internet (emphasizes)

You should know that when I leave, I never come back

2011-01-20T18:49:00.001+08:00

"You can't hold on to something that wants to go. You just got to love it while you got it, that's that. "

I'm long gone, moved on.

If I could fall into the sky, do you think time would pass us by

2011-01-05T20:11:00.002+08:00

Time is eternity begun. - James Montgomery

Its 2011 already and my oh my can I believe it. Time just zooms pass one or is it with age does time seem to move faster and faster? Hmm. Well, the new year's supposed to be all about being positive and optimistic about it but I think its kinda thick to only renew your hopes and dreams after wasting 365 days of it. Point is, I think NYRs are kinda well, meaningless, if one wants to set goals, set them daily. If they're not up to standard, renew them, change them, not wait for 365 and realise its not working.

Okay I'm ranting.

So anyway instead of the usual NYR, Imma make it into a NYR that changes not everyday but when the need arises. Therefore in the year 2011, I will to my best abilities: cast procrastination aside and make the best use of time; to do everything to my best of abilities and capabilites; to strive for the best; to not be buried by anguish and sorrow; to learn to be independent of others in the sense that one can do stuff one normally needs accompaniment for, oneself.

Hmm, that's quite alot actually, and hopefully there would not be any need for any changes whatsoever.

2011, please be a good year~

:| Emotions' have been like this/Oscar's (that lovely green monster above) recently :|| and I'm perplexed as to why

Closure

2010-12-31T18:06:00.002+08:00

So basically today's the last day of 2010 and well this year was pretty eventful and even that's an understatement. Personally, the year passed by way too fast, what with the As, lots of tutorials, assignments, SPA, and what have you got, time literally flew passed without much acknowledgement. Ah, I still feel a bit (okay much more than a bit) fidgety about the results and stuff (I have no confidence at all fyi).

Oh well.

This year was pretty interesting at the very least, forged interesting bonds with some and yet for certain things, the tighter you hold on to, the faster they escape from your grip. You win some, you lose some. And this year has taught me to lower expectations of people, and that with no expectations come no disappointments. But really, I still expect pretty much from people, especially those that I naturally come to expect more from. Guess everyone's a disappointment one way or another. Some might also show themselves to be not worth the effort and others give you 40% of them when you give them 120% of yourself.

Shrug.

They say no man's an island but I'm beginning to doubt it, really..

Reckon this might and does sound emotional and negative but I can't help it!

Albeit a sudden conclusion, I sincerely hope that 2011 would be much much better and much more promising.

2011 bring it on!

Time, and time again

2010-12-30T21:20:00.005+08:00

Caught up with yj the day before yesterday and it'd been almost two years since we last saw each other, hell long no doubt. Had a first at The Hand Burger and seriously! It was too awesome for words like kaboomz man their burger was wow and the fries were incredible, way way way ahead of McD's. Oops. Tried to K but was too expensive so we went to some unheard of K company and mannnn, it was cheap. But they say you pay for the quality and hell right they were. Place was smelling of smoke, looked sleazy, couldn't really see where the hell I was going due to their dim blue lights (there wasn't any white light nor decent yellow light mind you) and the drink was way too diabetic-ly sweet to be drunk. Oh and the range of English songs was seriously.. would you mind updating? No lyrics and not in any artist order either, how marvellous. Think I suffer a minor but very persistent headache til the end of the outing.

Oh well.

Got exposed at the neoprint booth cause we weren't taking any neoprints oops. Hence, that resulted in us taking pictures at the randomest of places.

Oh and she wrote me a letter cum a present which Na also bought for me like a year back, both were Japanese dolls, how cute ! Was rather embarrassed by the fact that I didn't bought anything for her :| aeng.

Hope to see her soon and thanks for sticking by my side during those harsh times yj!

Well, 2010's coming to an end in one day and I'm feeling rather sad now ha. This year passed by too fast honestly. Shall post again tomorrow to end 2010 with, aw I'm gloomy like hell with it's ending ):

There isn't any point in staying

Is confusion your thing?

2010-12-25T11:16:00.006+08:00

First and foremost, Merry Christmas and may The Lord always be with you!

So had Christmas Eve celebration w the guys ytd, my first! I know I know yadayda. Well anw interesting things happened. Take for example zt falling down whilst bowling resulting in us LOL-ing like mad. And he was like walao don't laugh! But it was so funny really like how to fall? HAHA sry zt hahaha~ Tried to pool afterwards but too many people on the waiting list, sad much. Divided btw K and Little Fockers but eventually chose the former and I'm glad we did ^^ First with the boys and it was kinda fun but the touch screen was like super insensitive? 3 of us all frustrated by it z. 3 hours felt like one seriously and it was so expensive which led me to think that being the CEO of K would make his/her life financially worry-less.

\m/ My hao peng yous!

Oh and I sang my first chi song in a long while haha I'm like super proud cause I only couldn't pronounce 2 words which is like WOW. Damn high and it was an oldie mind you, now feel my imba chinese skills! And we love to ooze ooze into the mike! We be beat boxers dude~! Anw, really hope the rest of them (being wr and kr) would come next meetup, without them = sad max !

Ooze ooze!

Why? I don't think I'll ever understand this habit of yours.

Blame it on the al-al-al-aliens

2010-12-18T22:55:00.003+08:00

Caught up w zuoer on 1512 and she cut her hair again (aisehhh) I couldn't bear to chop off mine if it was me. Soo, walk around to check our movie timing turns out that ehub was so advanced that they don't screen skyline =_= how gr8. Had to go to Tampines for it then, without getting drenched in the rain even with an umbrella at least for my case and I was like wtfbbqzomg when my shoes shrank due to it coming in contact with water? Wtf man 209$ leather still shrink? I have nothing to say. So practically suffered cuts everywhere lol pain like T_T plasters in my wallet wasn't even enough swear lol. Cui.

Oh and guy @ BBQChicken was handsome LOL but too young :|

Anywayyy, Skyline was one word-FREAKY. Seriously, I have like zero zero zero zero tolerance for aliens and them aliens in Skyline was like WTF SO GROSS. Even though the stuff in Aliens & Predators was worse but still! I therefore covered my eyes when they were like attacking the humans I know damn hum I know but still!! Intro was a tad too long and ending was like "Is there a sequel?" But but point is, NO MORE ALIENS ghosts still can handle, ALIENS SPARE ME LOL.

But I think I'll still catch aliens shows cause I like myself to be scared wth right

And the situation in Orchard's like having two tins of sardines and packing them into one tin instead. Wtf, I could barely walk seriously! And dark mocha frappucino resulted in my minor sorethroat to become wtf-damn-pain-throat but still it was nice the coffee lol.

And about the job thing, I take back my words, I rather nua @ home lol that's sihua for you ~

Boy I'm game for you

2010-12-10T11:54:00.004+08:00

Soooo, prom was the day before yesterday but it seemed like a memory so long ago! Kinda sad when it ended cause Idk when I'll be seeing all of them again, esp the guys aw sad much. Hope there'll be an outing soon (terribly sad face)

So basically that day everyone was dressed to the nines and everyone looked fabulous! Sexy guys, pretty girls only ha. Food was so-so and why no alcohol being served ?! What is this I want my cash back. Surprised that there was a bowling alley upstairs even though I didnt get to see it myself lol. Night ended too early and time passed wayy too fast really!

And what up man, Imma be lonelygirl92 soon if I'm not already one. Everyone's gonna get jobs and I'll be all alone then ): Think I might as well look for jobs if such is the case but then, no lobang leyz D: Sigh sigh.

Could you bury it, if you tried?

2010-12-06T20:40:00.002+08:00

Feel rather empty lately. It should had been liberating, but I don't feel the least bit liberated, and I'm not taking this as a good sign..hope its just over-thinking on my part.

Everything's at the end now, and it just feels weird to not be going to school again and not study for anything. Would still being back at school be better? Idk, but this wait is excruciating. Wait, we humans always wait. The destination might not be the same, but the hope in that the outcome would come true is always the same. We wait, wait and wait, always hoping for something to happen, hoping that what we want would finally come around and miraculously find us. But I hate the wait. Why wait? Why can't we grab at it when it's still there, while its still lingering? Why do we have to wait until everything's irrevocably made out to go the way where regret would pain you on hinder-sight? Scared, possibilities of deja vu, courage, et cetera. But opportunities will slip you by. If you really wanted something, you wouldn't let it slip you by, you would grab it, and hold on tight, even if it were made of thorn, spikes, blades, I would hold on if that meant everything to me. I guess some can't cherish the present enough to let go of the past, and..I can't do anything about that. It just pains me to see - this way.

Well, one more day to prom, nervous+excited all the same, ha. But I don't wanna go back so soon >:\

This territory goes uncharted

2010-11-25T19:32:00.002+08:00

A few more days to officially the end but I kinda regret the amount of effort I've put into this long long journey. Like it just wasn't enough, yet it wasn't in miserly amounts either. I don't know, I just felt that more could have been put into it..I just don't want a re-enactment of '09.

That aside, been feeling rather empty recently. You know, since things are about/almost/most certainly coming to an end, there's this empty space/void that will definitely be hard to replace and hard to fill. Aeng, seems like I'll be missing people then (poker face)

Oh and Skyline looks so awesome!? Hi anyone wants to catch it together? JIO PLEASE.

Better get back to mcqs, hugehugeyawn.

status quo

2010-11-20T11:14:00.002+08:00

I can no longer tell who's true to me and who's not

pieces of a puzzle that just won't fit

2010-10-19T13:27:00.002+08:00

MUG MUG MUG MUG MUG.

/Really thankful (:

Breakdown

2010-09-28T16:00:00.002+08:00

Supposed to get it going, but failed.

I don't think I can take any more of this.

Hell has no demons. All the demons are here.

2010-09-23T22:33:00.006+08:00

I think this time would be the most messed up I've ever been. Who does MCQs in a minute with the whole heart thumping hard against your chest because you've got to shade 20q in 30secs and from the back up instead? I hope I can get at least an E for MCQs? Please.

And sometimes I'd just wish to forget everything you know. All the lousy, bad, depressions that made impressions but they say the worst makes the best. I don't see the best in the worst. They say you're supposed to walk out of the worst better, and stronger. I don't think I can even crawl out of this shit.

This is the last chance I'd ever get they say. So? Does last chances comes with a warning that 'one should make no mistakes from this point on' ? What's this society's obsession with perfection? I don't get it. And I'm not even sour grapes over those that are so academically perfect. Honestly dude.

"Hell has no demons. All the demons are here"

So am I suppose to be some Heavenly warrior that fights back these demons?

What is it now? On the Fours already I think.

To hell with inconsistencies, so fed-up with everything

Warrior Imma be, heavenly or not.

And to you, please get of my way, I mean it.

I believe the bullet train would be faster

2010-09-18T20:40:00.002+08:00

"You're okay, I can see that you have the potential, you have the skill."

How come I can't see that myself?

And how fucking long has it been already? Why isn't my potential shining through this rusty armour which is so thoroughly useless?

Frustrated with prelims. Asked and realized my first few questions totally no marks AT ALL? What.the.fuck. And my E.field gone also? F-TARDED.

Z I had better put all my eggs into paper II and I, and to hell with chemistry also.

I swear I'll slit Math's throat, can't believe I have no chance in any papers at all?!

What in the world is this?!

Pent-up frustrations.

Middle finger to the worldddddd.

Can't believe I'm back to the exact same state as the MYEs where I'd fret before the collection of every paper's results. This is a bad thing. I need to get my everything into making this work. Seriously dude, seriously.

expectations vs reality

2010-09-09T22:40:00.005+08:00

Imma goner, don't think I can finish my syllabus AGAIN.

Like wtf? Why is it always like that Z

Freaking panicky now. No, even that would be an understatement.

I'm dyingggg

(On a lighter note, I like like my chrome theme-leopard skinnnn! Is there a blogskin like that hmm)

He's the only star in my night-sky

2010-08-31T21:59:00.002+08:00

Just want you to know that no matter what others may say, I still have faith/trust in you okay

Gotta fucking chiongggg

You lie for trust

2010-08-24T19:37:00.005+08:00

"Sometimes we get overwhelmed with the details and complexities of our lives. Sometimes we need help to get untangled, to gain a new perspective. Ask for help. Help may come in human or divine form. It may be seen or unseen. Ask, and you shall receive."

75/76? Aye whatever

Gotta be all out now, time's running too damn short already

(And honestly, I don't know what to think of this anymore)

/Edit

Seriously, I'm so fucked up now

I think I'll fall short of my aims again

Fuck this, I don't even have any more chances left to fail again

I can't even..

Argh, pray all this would end well

could it be worse than this

2010-08-15T17:43:00.002+08:00

86 I think, lost count or rather stopped counting along the way

Would never have left things for the last minute if I'd known it would be so damn tough

x2.5 times; I sense impossibility in just the number alone

Insomnia's not helping

Cant say I hate now any more than this

Illusion

2010-08-09T20:09:00.004+08:00

If speed is an indicator of one's efficiency, then I need to speed up like roadrunner fast.

/Birds of a feather flock together. Both of you are just the same. I was foolish enough to believe the lies you uttered, but not anymore. Both of you are just as selfish, just as backstabbing. I trusted you, how could you? Keep your disgusting face away from me, you stupid fakeshit. Dont blame anyone for what comes next.

How much I wanted you; I need you to stay

2010-08-06T17:56:00.003+08:00

I've got anything but time now. Everyone's chionging whether they're saying it or not (and you can continue to fucking lie) It's GAME ON from this point onwards!

Push it push it to the limit limit

95 more to everything more; I dont wanna look back crying anymore.

It's time to do this!

/You cant see through my pretense. You dont know how hard this is. The amount of concern you genuinely have for me is pathetic.

Dont take no nonsense from no one

2010-08-02T16:02:00.005+08:00

HELL NO. TIME PASSES TOO FAST I SWEAR.

Double digit, I've started on nothing. So much for the 100th starting point, am I awesome or what.

Everyone's inactive now on fb, ): this is a sign of intensive mugging!

43, 99, 56. OMFG.

I wanna go back where thr's still triple digits, be it 100 or 200. Greed says we go back to 300.

"Sometimes it may seem like you can't figure out by yourself. Sometimes will and strenght and courage are not enough. Sometimes in your life you will need to call out for help. Call on God. God will be there."

♥

Dear Lord, give me strength and faith to tide through this.

Peace out, this is tmth ):

As spacious as crowded

2010-07-29T21:30:00.004+08:00

103

Basically I've got nothing to say but it feels better to write about nothing then see it not updated.

I dont think I make sense, but I dont care

Started (weird, forced smile)

Happiness was yesterday, anxiety is today.

Damn, time to brace myself.

Losing faith in people all around now, but I dont want this to happen. Guess things that are meant to happen, will happen. Never wanted to place any expectations, had any hopes, see what happens now.

/ You add insult to injury, whether you know it or not. Guess you do, but ignorance is both our pretense. Because two can play at a game.

Give it a try, give us a try

2010-07-27T19:04:00.003+08:00

105 Z

I think I've time to start today? Desperately hope so!

But I feel like slacking my time away still.

Wake up call please someone.

Super jiao, this is so suffocating.

Your eyes don't lie

2010-07-23T19:13:00.002+08:00

Today's 109. Finger to the world.

Today's also the most unlucky, most frustrating, most irritating day of my entire JC life.

Oh how awesome.

I better start by 108/107, else..

And it's getting harder to breathe already.

Garh.

/You need to back off, please know where you stand. All smiles and laughs doesnt mean I dont mind what you're actually doing. I know that you know, and I want you to know that you're efforts will be futile.

You're only in my head

2010-07-21T19:20:00.003+08:00

Eh Inception seems not bad? Am I lag or what but I just saw the review and they say its pretty much awesome. DAMN, I WANNA WATCH.

And double damn, so much for kicking asses, hvnt even started any revision yet. You go girl.

Normal distribution's too much too handle?

Z, 110 by tomorrow, I've gotta start soon argh.

Stress' killing me I say.

/ Those closest are like lethal venom. I dont wanna doubt you, but you didnt give me a reason to believe you either. After that incident, I discovered the need to put up a barrier, to protect from your incessant lies. Enough is enough, your two-faced character is scaring the shit out of me. Who knows what you could be saying behind my back? Once bitten, twice shy, I swear.

Jump then fall

2010-07-19T18:54:00.003+08:00

HELL YEAH SHINEE.

"Loboholic, lobotronic, luciferrrrrr"

\m/

(Can you stay away from __? Thanks.)

Reasons to stay, not excuses to leave

2010-07-16T23:04:00.005+08:00

"You are my sweet shops to a kid. You are my smoke stacks to a factory. You are my windows to the openings. You are my wine bottles to an alcoholic. You are my pillars to a building. I'm glad you're you."

It's time to get serious.

It's time to prioritize.

It's time to KICK SOME ASS.

It's also time to put you aside, for real (however much I dont want to).

It's time, before time runs out.

/You and your my-school-of-thought-is-always-right attitude, go suck it. You should stop defaming people like that, such a double-faced creature.

You can never say never, you wont know when

2010-07-15T15:58:00.003+08:00

Kay 5 rank points. Aint alot, in fact so little, but better than nothing.

Tomorrow, please be a good nice marvelous great awesome I-love-today day.

Note to self: next week, its gonna be then.

\m/

Peace out, too much homework rawr.

(I'll be your guardian when all is crumbling, I'll steady your hand.)

I'm only gonna break break your break break your heart

2010-07-13T17:48:00.005+08:00

"You are the distance between the way things are and the way I want them to be."

I'm honestly scared for tomorrow.

What if my rank point's below 15, below 10? Shit, I screwed everything up.

Argh.

Frustrated.

I wanna dance to a sad song now, how pathetic.

(It was as if I could touch you if I reached out far enough. It was as if you'd come if I waited long enough. It was as if you wouldnt need anyone else if you understood I'd be there for you always. But reality wasnt like that, and I find that quite hard to accept, even though you were never mine to call.)

You know, I wanna get get get your love

2010-07-09T23:18:00.002+08:00

Awesome, my mcq for chem p1 is so imba, its the lowest in class.

Prepared to get questioned by Yap ownballz.

And apparently, I'll lose whatever lead I currently have. This is the best.

Not that I'm comparing, just saying you know.

You're like a butterfly

2010-07-08T15:52:00.002+08:00

\m/ ITS OVER.

Exams are overrrr ((:

D; ITS OVER.

My results will be a disasterrr )):

~~~I'm so bored now.

Went to watch my boys' fantastic elastic again, ALMOST 10M VIEWS NOW SO AWESOME ! Cant wait for their 2nd FULL album, stress FULL. So gonna chiong to HMV and buy.

And WAHAHA I managed to get hold of The Gargoyle, ELATED (GL says its awesome, hehe yay next up: Perfume!)

Boredboredbored, and so sad tmr's like cancelllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllled

Hua's in agony.

Planning on switching to tumblr again, if not chnging link for blogspot. Hm see how first.

You did it on purpose, on purpose

2010-07-07T18:08:00.002+08:00

"Its so fluffy, it's annoying!"

Eh happened to catch a glimpse of the movie and its so cute heh.

It's ending in one day. Luckily, my body cant take it it anymore. Early release today but I cant study anymore gosh, please dear brain, hang on for one more day. Apparently my physics' gonna suck but I'm gonna try still, no giving up.

Why Friday got school, ruin everything. Z.

I should get back to studying, haven't even finished one chapter yet, goner.

What if I get retained??? Honestly, I'm fricking scared. And what if I need to see the principal omgawd, I think I'll break down in front of him.

And wtheck isn't the new timetable supposed to be on the web? How am I supposed to check if I need to come school on Monday not angsty only.

GET BACK TO STUDYING.

( Happy to be the first, if not part of the firsts. I could only be contented with where I stand, no? )

I wanna rock with you

2010-07-03T10:35:00.002+08:00

"This must be, this must be feeling of love"

Taeyang's the best!!! Awesome dance, vocals, handsome face too ((:

Still got 6 more papers abcdefg, I'm already tired like blood-red-eyes-tired. Z and my ear piercing shut ytd WTF, poke it until it opened, now all blood KNS. H8 the recovery period arghh. Still hv the whole econs and stats waiting for me, how wonderful.

Sometimes I feel like giving up and leaving everything behind.

Peace out.

Listen to my Y

2010-06-30T13:57:00.002+08:00

"What will you be able to do once you leave me"

WOO this song is naise, I like. Gonna learn this after midterms (:

And I dont think anyone comes here anymore, sad.

I should be revising, apparently I hvnt finished revising my syllabus.
D: upset

K peace out.

The reluctance to let go

2010-06-16T19:08:00.003+08:00

Anywhere, everywhere, with you.

Just in case you I mean something to you

Anguish, agony, hurt, now tears.

2010-06-03T13:16:00.003+08:00

Am now situated at tumblr. Could be leaving behind blogger once again.

Leave a comment @ guestbook if anything, I'll still come by here

Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs

2010-05-28T23:45:00.003+08:00

A true friend knows your weaknesses but shows you your strengths; feels your fears but fortifies your faith; sees your anxieties but frees your spirit; recognizes your disabilities but emphasizes your possibilities.

William Arthur Ward

)): Damn, missing you(s)

Yay to intentionally poor english.

Proud of myself, proud of my work.

Won't allow myself to linger in whiner's limbo. There's so much more than this, than you. I can do this, I will make it.

Life's not a rehearsal

2010-05-21T18:58:00.001+08:00

You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it.

Charles Buxton

Let's do this.

Imma do this.

Make believe this dont, wont hurt

2010-05-19T17:44:00.003+08:00

HAPPY GIRL (:

Make that very!

Presents are my happy pill, call me superficial if you like I dont care~ Flowerzzzz! I love only (: real one will plus points okay ha (: Pictures another day~

I've suddenly got the motivation to study and yes, I feel very appreciated today smileeeee.

Will miss the times, all of you ):

Did 17 crunches and 31 sit ups cause I felt fat \m/

Shit I feel bad for my dad now damn, sorrrry )):

Kay random.

You know, someone appreciates me way more than you

2010-05-16T17:24:00.003+08:00

ZOMG. THIS IS SO AMAZING.

DESPERATELY WANNA LEARN.

Fan of them now zomg, but everyone with the rebel hair is abit too much? But oh well THE CONCEPT'S FRICKING COOL OMG. If only everyday people can sport these typpa hairstyles, life would be so cool baby.

My boys are coming back soon omg excited~ Cant wait for their dance ^^ SHINee's = must learn, dont care how hard ha ((:

Tuition ended early today but rotted til around the same time lawl, kay time to go study whee. And knn, shldnt have ate that lousy bread, now full like hell z.

I LOVE STUDYING

I believe repeating things like you mean it will make it become part of you, so there HAHA.

I miss Zuoer fricking sad face.

And KEVIN'S BACK HULALALALA

Happygirl92

2010-05-12T16:20:00.003+08:00

If only there's such a beautiful library/atmosphere to study in, I think I'll be studying everyday without any procrastination. Why Singapore of all places :\ Kay gotta be contented Hua.

Today's an awesume day, like yay yay yay make me wanna do a celebratory dance only ((:

Kay need to add that to my dose of daily motivation.

\m/ dropitdropitdropitlowgirl heheeee.

(Oh and I lost weight HAHAHAHAHA. \m/)

Could be an organ donor, the way I gave up my heart

2010-05-10T19:05:00.004+08:00

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.You can steer yourself any direction you choose.You’re on your own. And you know what you know.And YOU are the guy who’ll decide where to go."
“Oh, the Places You’ll Go!”, Dr. Seuss
-
Contented with what I have: friends/family/just being able to live everyday is worthy enough to be happy about. We have to lose so much before the things we already have becomes so much clearer dont we?
A few weeks more before everything and Im prepared for anything that comes smashing into me. I'm blogging now after that thunderstorm, what could be worse right? Let's hope math test..hm lets hope I pass it this time.
Time to study! And I want a husband that loves/stands through whatever just like the main lead in Autumn's Concerto omgawddd. Okay drama junkie much.
(:
Counting my blessings
And I didnt adhere to diet plan today HAHA as expected lol.
(I expected myself to be able to remember everything you said/did/moment that had you in it. But I didnt. Heard a song today, the song which once made you felt so much. But I didnt realised it until something told me that Hey, this' familiar. Ohwell, seems like I can do this afterall. Seems like you're not so difficult to replace afterall. Seems like I gave myself too little credit for what I once experienced before you came around.)

I promised to love myself, more

2010-05-09T17:44:00.003+08:00

Fuck yeah awesome!
Super edgy omgosh, WANTS!
But first need to slim down to look good in faded jeans ): Ah, that makes me think of the choco I've been eating - atrocious! :/ Real hardcore diet starts tomorrow, eh no joke kay, need to look good for June hols/whatever reasons I can think of.
-
To all the people who are concerned about me, sorry to have let you down okay. Sorry for being emotional and sad since whenever and sorry how I couldnt see how you people were so much more important. Sorry for not understanding that I shouldnt be so concerned about those that are not concerned about me but those who sincerely care about you.
I'm so sorry okay!
Sihua has sinced grown up and swears to look on the bright side of everything! And to work hard in her studies so that we can all go to Uni together alright! Sihua also promises to give her friends more credit for what they've done rather than taking things for granted!
-

Hey best buddy my yi wan nian lover, thank you.
Thank you for listening when you know what the hell I'm gonna say whenever I ask "Its about - again" Thanks for giving advice and staying with me thoroughout my most miserable moments. Thank you for walking home with me and once again listening and telling me "not to be sad" but I simply couldnt take it in. SORRY, your daughter learns finally!
God bless (:

And how could I forget you my Ji Er (makes R sound super prominent) Heh. Thanks for listening and dedicating posts to encourage and be my cheerleader. Even though we're far apart right now, I appreciate the effort you put inside our friendship okay! Come to think of it, I havent been as good a friend, forgive me for that!
-
Without these two, I wouldnt have made it. Honestly. God bless these two people please. And God bless me too! Haha okay childish much (bleh)
If you two read/see these YOU BETTER TAG ESP MX LOL.
-
Kay love myself more = love my future more= love my work more = study more = outta this place I go. Havent started on any work this weekend , too slack too slack! All because of Autumn's Concerto la wahlao hai si wo!
See I'm becoming cheena even, win.
Kay no more drama from this week onwards. That means from now on is strictly diet/study life omgawd, Sihua you better adhere to this.
(I still feel disappointment, even anger. Can I say I hate you without sounding childish?)

Make a plan to love me someday

2010-05-07T19:14:00.005+08:00

It is what it is.
No denying that now, after so many tries at not looking, not seeing the obvious. I say it doesnt hurt as bad, I claim its alright, I assure its not affecting me, that I dont care. I was deceiving myself. Yes, I dont care as much now, but it still creates this empty space called disappointment. Hell, I should have known. I couldnt possibly hold a candle to her could I? I mean, we're not even on the same starting line to begin with. And chasing after what was so clearly out of reach had a price of its own to pay for. And that price tag came with heartbreak. Carelessly, I over looked that fact. Honestly, I didnt care back then. Now, I do. I wasted time on you. I regretted it. I hate every moment just even spent thinking of you, when I knew you didnt even bother. I was so naiive, so stupid enough that with time, you'd see. But no, you didnt, you couldnt forget.
And no I dont blame you for that. I blame you for the mixed messages you sent. I blame you for the false security you gave. I blame you for not clarifying. I blame you for being indecisive. I blame you for toying with me. I blame you for leaving like nothing's happen.
And I blame myself. I blame myself for letting myself trust everything you said. I blame myself for thinking that you actually cared, even for a moment. I blame myself for not keeping a reign over my heartstrings.
But I blame you more.
Selfish as this might sound, I really do.
How could you? When any ordinary person would know this means so much more. When a blind person could see that this isnt what you said it was. How could you? I wouldnt, not in a million years, to trust you ever again. To trust what your body language might be telling me. Its just another lie aint it.
Back then, I'd say I wouldnt change anything if I could go back in time. Now, I'll do anything not to ever meet you in this life, nor in the next. I'll do anything to save myself from this shit I've landed myself in. I used to place you before me. Well fuck that. I hate you for not even sparing a thought for me. Not even a tiny fraction. So to hell with thoughts of you now. To hell with this disaster. You can keep you and whatever you think is best for you. I can keep my sanity and go back to what I was two years back from now.
I'll leave this behind now.
Because the wise leave when they see the thing they're waiting for wont come.
I leave not because I'm wise or anything like that. I leave because you're not worth it anymore. I leave because I love myself, this time more than you.
Mean as this might sound, may karma hit you right smack in the face.
As much love there is, there is as much hate.
Cant agree more.

Something like this, something like that

2010-05-04T19:02:00.002+08:00

"Open your heart, close your eyes"
I ignore the signs but neither do I wanna pretend to be oblivious either. Hell, get out of my head.
Focus on the test Hua, focus.
Oh and hi, I'm getting fat out of proportion and I cant seem to control the greedy hands that keep reaching out for food. You're full, damnit, very full.
I need ripped jeans and heels in my life hi.
And paint splattered grunge shirt.
Damn.
Week 7 already screams.
Gotta catch up desperately.
Why the heck am I typing like that? Die, damnit.

You're that kind of morning that lasts all afternoon

2010-04-30T22:29:00.003+08:00

If you're gonna lie, at least lie well, at least try to conceal your real intentions, at least try to think it through before you even say it. Or is that meant for me as a half-hint, then why dont you come and speak your mind, why oh why. You continue to befuddle me, dont you. Good job you, well done.

Been raining these days, and man do I love rain. No, I meant that sincerely.

^ Wanna go to London and see that whilst driving through the streets. City lights and the London Eye with the rain pouring down, beautiful. Kay unrealistic thoughts again :/

After seeing -, I realised how slack I am. Different environment makes you a different person they say, and how I agree with that. Guess I've gotta get mself going also :/

Ah, still so disappointed, damnit. Should never held high expectations of you when I knew you were going to dash my hopes down anyway. But no, I never learn.

Whatever now, time to get a good rest. Size of eyebags = half of eyes, ggfied ttm.

): Disappointeddddd

(Getting it out of your mind is one thing, getting it out of your heart is another.)

Agony is when I see you, but you dont see me

2010-04-28T16:46:00.002+08:00

Spongebob: What do you usually do when I'm gone?
Patrick: Wait for you to come back.

Today's SPA, and hey I think I'm pretty good ha. Well yes have already one mark deducted but it still leaves me with 19 and man, am I contented with 19 ha. Panicked at first due to not knowing how to set up the circuit (thanks zhengyi lol) and not knowing if the graph is correct. So..hopefully 19 baby, 19.
Kay have set a few goals now, lady's gotta get on track dont cha know
Wanna spell them out but its so blurry at the same time.
Hm
Alright so maybe, setting time limit for computer usage (what's new huh, but this time I'm adhering to it), study for x hours daily and hmm, treat everything seriously I guess? OH RIGHT, I almost forgot, READ A BOOK BY JUNE HA.
Gonna read Perfume: Story of a Murderer, recommended AND its supposedly a historical crossover literature UNDERLINE LITERATURE HAHA. And historical might as well heh. So yeah of course its on top of my reading list now. Her fearful symmetry next and The Lost Symbol of course.
Let's pray these all work out nicely and if I may, perfectly.
8)
Oh and check out John Mayer. He's the man dude, like totally
Eek geek, STUDEE.

Nostalgia's the tragedy

2010-04-23T17:00:00.004+08:00

"When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story."
-Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother
Time to be awesome Hua.
Not entirely sad today, at least I'm not the bottom, I'm relieved for that honestly.
Work harder next time (octopus wave)

Check out Sam Tsui on Youtube! Awesome vocals and Kurt (his friend) is amazing with instruments~ This got me loving his voice heh, esp the Paparazzi part eeks. Love talented people, who doesnt right ha.
Chants Sam Tsui Sam Tsui ha ((:
MYE's coming, gotta study baybee.

We'll fit like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle

2010-04-22T16:14:00.002+08:00

"No matter what you're doing, keep the undercurrent of happiness. Learn to be secretly happy within your heart in spite of all circumstances." -Paramahansa Yogananda

I like that. And that's what I'm doing currently, well except for some exceptions. But I daresay 80% of the time, I adhere to this and practically because I'm afraid that should I say 'it', 'it' would not come true. I still believe in this though loll.
School's a boring mundane place (bares vampire fangs)
Yesterday was fruitful, got work done! 8)) Hopefully next week too?
Guess tomorrow's gonna be the giving back of that damned paper, and guess I'll be damned tomorrow ): Hopefully not too lousy argh.
And Imma getting to love Ne-yo's velvet voice more and more and more 8)
Kay gonna study naoo, GEEK FOR THE WIN HA.

We'll always be what you never said we could be

2010-04-16T21:31:00.004+08:00

Have always thought this is so awesome/romantic, yeah I know I'm a corn ball ha 8)
Sidenote: I'm relieved for today
Hopes this continues to happen, pastes relieved smile on face
STUDY TIME
(Sorta like a daily reminder no?)
And I like my new pencil case, just like the simplicity. Ha random again.
Oh oh and retail therapy even at its smallest fraction can work wonders lol, just saying

Come back home, you'll be safe and warm

2010-04-15T15:33:00.002+08:00

Been feeling like this for the whole week, and I h8 it.
Screwed up chemistry (how many more tests can I screw up before its over), pray that I'll pass, nothing more. Yeah sometimes I just wanna tear up and bawl but no that's not me so I'll just stay strong, hopefully.
Stop giving excuses and start making results.
So I will, no more proscratinating.
Dont want no regrets, gotta buck up ARGH.
So Cold-Chris Brown is nice (:
Oh and I've consuming too much lately ): Destroyed my past two weeks of diet sian what is this, frustrated.
Wanna do so many FUN things but so little time ):
STUDY HUA.

Warning: vulgarity overload

2010-04-12T17:20:00.003+08:00

Yeah right.
Totally depressed now, why the heck someone tell me why the heck. This is the abyss of my math career and fuck, I dont wanna go no deeper. Studied, practised and still, this. Fuck. Fuck careless too. Fuck my marks and the emotional rollercoaster its taking me on.
Yeah well fuck everything.
It would be so nice if something could make sense for a change.
Other than careless, exceptionally hard questions and well poor time management I cant figure this out. Why why why with practice am I in this abyss? This is shit.
Argh (screams)
I dont care now. Gonna study my ass off from now on.
Believe me, abysses SUCK. And honestly 2010's been taking a toll on me :/
Kay geek for now I suppose, HOPEFULLY IT WORKS.
Stop playing jokes on me now, Heaven, God, Someone up there.
Oh and to you, dont give me fuckshyt attitude, dont think I owe you a living kay. Cut that all mighty superior face you always give and maybe take a look at your attitude before commenting on others?

We are a complicated love affair

2010-04-08T16:28:00.003+08:00

Optimistic Hua is back~!

In retrospect, I've found my previous posts to be too emotional and all. So from now on, I'll promise myself two things : (one) look beyond the imperfections and be happy, cant be living in the past and worrying about the future all day long (two) accept things as they are and do your best, so there wont be regrets and everything that happens would be meant to be.

Feels so good to be back

(Deep breath)

Liberated

OKay, so school's really really hectic now and I hope I'll survive! Math test's a goner but now now, dont ponder anymore. Today's the start of a new beginning I say (: Well hopefully too that is. Workload is a truckful but its gonna, I'll get by. Cant wait for May/June cause I've promised myself to get myself a book to read you know, like a novel. After eons of non-reading, I'm eggcited~! Think I'm gonna purchase 'The Lost Symbol as well as The Perfect Symmetry (kinda forgot the title) Reading's a delight I tell you.

Pictures as well as quotations from random blogs got me enlightened, so thank you

Feel like doing nothing and having a taste of what's roaming through random carnivals and bazaars are like, hmm. Next life huh (shrug)

Kay, gonna work work work it out now, til then honey pumpkins.

(Sidenote: thank you to Zuoer, and Meixin for all the time spent listening to my worthless rambles. Appreciate it much and God bless [: )

"you have to know how to protect yourself. from danger and from broken hearts. sometimes you might be able to cure your broken heart. but that is not easy to do. and it probably takes a very long process for it to heal completely. sometimes it may never even heal completely.you have to know how to protect your heart because that's the only organ that is true to you. your mind might play tricks on you. but your heart simply would not."

-http://notebookdoodles.blogspot.com

Very nicely put, and I totally agree with it.

For the better sake of myself, I've gotta let you go.

And this is the last time I'd be talking about the halfway-love of us here.

So goodbye you, I wish you well.

The conclusion of confusion

2010-04-07T15:52:00.003+08:00

I'm okay.
Breathe, just breathe.
It hurts, but its okay now.
Wake up, wake up from this nightmare.
Everything's gonna be just fine, everything will be how it used to be.
Snap out of this, snap into reality.
Cause the dreams did not contain us, it contained only me, without you. And then I understood : you could not be here, you wanted to be somewhere else.
But I wanted you to stay (even if you wouldnt), I wanted you to love back (even if you didnt), I wanted us to be something more (even if you didnt thought so).
I just wanted to be sure of you, but you were like the wind, ungraspable.
But I continue to chase after the unchasable, because the heartbreak's not that intense when I'm running towards you.

With every passing day, I'll love you more

2010-04-01T16:12:00.002+08:00

Sometimes, you have to accept the fact that some people are going to stay in your heart forever, even when you are long gone in theirs. Sometimes, you have to accept that the person that stays in your heart has a person that stays in theirs, and its not you. But sometimes, I cant accept that. Sometimes, I look at you and I think of who could be that person, and it breaks my heart. Sometimes, I think of you, just to know that you could be thinking of another person, and that's good enough to kill everything inside me.
Because I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; so I love you because I know no other way.
And I cant take this all back, you cant take love back.
But you continue to elude me, every single time.
And I continue hoping, every single time.
But not this time. This time, I'd let go, I'd let things be, I wont change anything. I wont linger.
This time, I'll leave, to see if you'll chase me back.

I just wanted to be sure of you

2010-03-30T18:21:00.003+08:00

I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It's when you know you're licked before you begin but you begin anyway and you see it through no matter what. You rarely win, but sometimes you do.
-"To Kill A Mockingbird", Atticus Finch

I like that. Gonna read that soon, hopefully.
Next week (and the weeks to come) will be suffocating, so guess Imma be studying now?
):
/You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare, either way, I dont wanna wake up.

Just wanna spend every waking moment with you

2010-03-26T21:10:00.002+08:00

If its true, if what they say that you pay for every good thing that happens to you, then well I'm a living example. If the tragedy of physics was the payback of the wow of chemistry, then..I wouldnt know what to do. Cause it sucks to have extremes, to have your problems and not-understanding(s)-of-concepts so much highlighted in your face, cause I cant take it, and it sucks to be at the bottom of this bottomless cannyon of feelings again. Worse, nothing's lifting me up to feel confident again. I am in need of a booster if you need to know. And so emotionless now; broken/false smiles when you're supposed to be happy for people, not that I'm not, its just that I'm reminded of my predicament every single time with every reminder.

Now I'm just seeming like an emo potato here, :

Guess I'd have to work realllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly hard now. Kaoz.

Kay brighter/happier note: Good Friday's coming yayy! 3 day break I love that.

Friday's no excuse for slacking right? Right, in a mugger's perspective.

/I know I shouldnt be pondering on this already, but I just cant get it out of my mind. Is there someone other me? Am I the only exception? Cause I might as well be obsessed over what we are now, and you know so well the lines are blurring. Just answer me, am I the only one confused/perplexed over what this is, what we are?

Like sunflower needs the sun, I need you.

2010-03-22T18:23:00.003+08:00

MUG should so be in my to-do list now, but instead.. Ha, isnt it always the same? Ohwell study later then, mug seems so..extreme. Died at phy today, like usual. Can you feel my disappointment? I mean I dont expect to get awesome results, but at least a pass? Damn. Kay rant much onlyz. Tomorrow's chem omgee, please go easy on me. I feel so bored just looking at the chunk of notes I have, not to mention I'm sick again. Yes again, hallelujah.

On a happier (much much) note, Clash of Titans's coming~~~! OMGEE, I wanna watch it, like after the bleh of Wolfman you know. (eggcited face) And I wanna go do some shopping a few weeks from now? Hope there's no tests to dampen everything.

But I cant make it for BJ's free cone tomorrow WTF H8 THIS LA.

Kay studyyy.

): ):

/ Short time I know, but I still missed you terribly. But its okay, for I saw you today and your smile brightened up every inch of me. You should know, I look forward to everyday that I'd be able to spend with you. (love you) Do you know?

Love comforts like sunshine after rain

2010-03-18T18:24:00.003+08:00

"I realize that these are little things. But they all add up to the big picture of my life. And if you don’t get them, then you don’t get me. And if he was ever going to get me, wouldn’t I have been gotten by now?"
Sara from When It Happens by Susane Colasanti
-
Think I might be getting sick soon. Whytheheck do I always get sick before some tests? Barnicles. Kay study study study )8
Impt impt impt : time to slim down again!
/In the blurry streets of dreams, I saw you. I saw you walking towards me, giving me a tight hug and interwining our hands together. I grasped on tightly, for it might never happen again.

When I look at you

2010-03-17T19:26:00.002+08:00

Ew no time to even start proper relaxing this holiday. Suckballz. Slept for 1 1/2 days and I'm still tired, hibernation should be in my timetable, I'd rock at it. SL made me fricking shagged, hate it, but I didnt know I was so popular with kids, not bad at all. Kay time to do .. whatever. School tmr, abcdefg. Feel like going out for lunch tmr, kay linkless.
/I'm looking at you, but I'm still missing you. It kills me inside, but I dont say it. I assume, assume you understand what you're taking me through, but you dont. Cause if you do, you would have made everything better. I'm banking on the would haves, when I know all I would get would be the didnts. (I kept you close, cause I wanted to keep you longer.)

You, will always be the reason why.

2010-03-10T19:31:00.003+08:00

For the past days/months/year, I've been losing focus.
I wasnt paying attention to what was really important, what really mattered. Let that be in the past tense now, for now I see. I saw that I couldnt keep on waiting on for forever, cause forever didnt meant you would come, forever didnt mean I would finally be able to be yours, forever just meant me with a broken heart and me forsaking myself for you. So now, let this be the last time, the final time, I ever think of you. Cause from now on, I'll fight thoughts of you, fight the joy when I see you, fight the feeling when I get when we walk side by side. If you aint coming, aint saying what you feeling, I couldnt be waiting on for you. I'm done, baby I really am. I'm done looking at you and not being able to express what I'm feeling, done waiting for the day when you'd turn around and say " you've been the only thing on my mind" , done knowing you dont care, done hoping for you to love me back. I'm done. I'm done.
But just before everything, I cried when I thought of us yesterday.
But you dont care, you dont know, right?
Done, done, done.
If only things were so easy.

Cause you smell of perfume and marshmallows

2010-03-07T15:55:00.004+08:00

Lit your love alive, dont keep it lockdown, under wraps.
Maybe, just a little maybe, I thought you should know, you were all along the only one, my only one, for there had been no other. But I wasnt the only one, I was the one amongst the many, the one you couldnt see, the one lost in the crowd, the one you just walked past without a second glance. Yet, I want to be the unique one, the only one whom you'll be concerned about, the one you would take forever to forget, the one you know you love.
Maybe you dont visit here anymore, maybe you dont read what I've to say anymore, maybe you've got more important things going on now.
Then you wont know the feelings I had for you, the feelings which I kept under wraps, the feelings which I begged you to discover, to realise.
Because..
..I whispered it as you came into view. I felt it when you sat beside me. I thought of saying it as we said goodbye and I screamed it after you walked away. And I guess I've got to be okay with it.
Now, could you come back now, take my hand and we'll ride away without a care in the world.
Just take a chance, for once.

Could it have been, could we have been..?

2010-03-06T15:53:00.002+08:00

Isnt this so beautiful? The above would be so perfect for a birthday cake, you know what I mean. Awesome, (continues to stare at prettaye cake) Sweet.
Sports Carnival was, hmm, not exactly suckzballz but not rocking good either but I've gotta say I LOVE DRAGONBOAT. Or at least the experience lol. Splashing water was DODGE DODGE but too late! But I like (grins) And honestly, I was like staring at the guy teaching us how to row and I swore I've never seen him before in NYJC but thanks for staring back at me arhm, dragonboat instructor guy. What am I talking about pfft. Touch Rug was entertaining to watch but I dnt get the scoring part lawl but nonetheless YAY 0926 ! Achievement finally (: Frisbee's a harddddd game to play I tell you and 0927's guys are funny lol. Well done everyone (mind's still thinking about DB) Last place ftw HAHA.
Afterwhich we went to eat at some seemingly cheap place (so them right nods onlyz) and man was I tired dkwhytoo. Talked laughed and STUPID ICECREAM MAKE ME MALU WALAU. But nehmind I forgive the ice cream ^^ Kind onlyz. Kay peekturexz --

FOOD FOOD. I was thinking of MOF while eating Just Acia, talk about being unfaithful. Yay me.

Damn bigshot, ask dk how many timez H8YOU HA.

And once again, a photo-taking wont be complete w/o --

High angle!

Low angle!

Medium height!

HEH. Kay end post, I shagged like hell. I want to DB again!! Sporty sihua = weird wthhh.

Eh why weekends so much work to do wth?!

OH! Go check these two pages out, uber cool and awesome sites:

http://notesaboutyouandme.blogspot.com/

http://thingssheloves.tumblr.com/

Kay rest timez.

/You know this feeling, I think you know how I'm feeling. I know how you're feeling, I think I know how you're feeling. But we could have been nothing more in your eyes, in your thoughts. Maybe it wasn't and if it wasn't I'd have nothing else left to say. But it couldn't have been anything else.

I.love.you.

2010-03-04T19:38:00.004+08:00

Here's another subtle hint to you honey ♥ , now dont break my heart anymore.
-
Was too free, or rather, too bored so here's this:
Stability results were low which suggests you are very worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.
Orderliness results were moderately low which suggests you are, at times, overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion results were medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being assertive and social and being withdrawn and solitary.
trait snapshot:
messy, irritable, depressed, fragile, worrying, emotionally sensitive, does not like to lead, phobic, weird, suspicious, low self control, paranoid, frequently second guesses self, dependent, unproductive, introverted, weak, strange, unassertive, submissive, familiar with the dark side of life, feels invisible, rash, vain, anti-authority, heart over mind, low self concept, disorganized, not good at saving money, avoidant, daydreamer, unadventurous
-
Those in large font are so me, honestly.
(Take the quiz @ http://similarminds.com/global5.html)
Yeahyeah should be studying but hiIneedabreakfirst.
Yawn, bored of school. Tomorrow's gonna be one hectic day, results release (omgee?) + practical + dance + next day's sports carnival = paralysed and drained and tired and what not.
Kay wonder if anyone visits here anymore. Ohwell, shrugs.
-
/You're the best part of my day. So why hesistate now? We could have make these so much better. Baby, let's be more than this. (If only you knew :/ )

Dont keep your love lockdown

2010-03-03T14:39:00.003+08:00

♥ Picture says a thousand words huh, valid.

School is screwed, tests are horrible, damnit, I studied for it and yet this is happening, awesomely terrible. ): Shitloads of work, super behind time, failing tests, keep falling sick, emotionally drained, sleepless nights, faking smiles, pretending not to see/care = my life now. Wanna change this please, 2010 why so unlucky?

/ Wait wait wait, sometimes I just wanna rip my heart into shreds, so I wont keep on waiting, so I wont have to feel the pain, so I wont have to be confused as to what you feel/what this is. Yes, I do wish that I've never met you, but no, I wouldnt change anything even if I get another chance to do so. Torn apart, I pretend not to care about this, about you, about anything; inside, the feeling's consuming me, whole. Yet you dont know, never know. Guess its time to forget you/this, but I just cant do it. How now brown cow?

Want our love to come to life

2010-02-26T22:17:00.003+08:00

Sweet.

Possible reason for insomnia: stress overload. Damn, cant take any more sleepless nights, gonna die of dry eyes and lack of concentration for anything and everything. Shit tests and school and everything. March holidays is so not a holiday come to think of it, suck ballz. I wanna go out and have funnnn, hate j2 life mug mug mug onlyz.

Study tomorrow ):

/ Could have sworn I was so prepared for this, for you. But yet, we're nothing. Still, holding on would always be what I would do, what I wanna do, just that you never knew (what I really/actually/honestly felt inside)

Its all or nothing, its you or no-one

2010-02-25T19:47:00.003+08:00

I'm so tired
Especially today, feel tired when I'm on the way to school already own ballz.
After next wednesday there'll be less stress! (I hope)
Yawn, today's such a drag.
Have got work to do, havent bathe, still slacking, gone seriously.
/You ought to know, cause I cant pretend anymore

Make up your mind, then speak what's on it

2010-02-19T22:53:00.004+08:00

):
Major upset. Like how the hell did I get myself into such deep shyt? Ohgawd (T-T), gonna tio pressured like every single day already, huat. T-T cant get over itttt.
Oh, nice thing that happened today, Ryan said I was 'good' 2 times! OMG RIGHT. Oh is it 3? Okay cant rmb but point is, HE SAID I WAS GOOD (huge grin). Then upon hearing it I flustered and screwed it up =.= Typical reaction Sihua -.-
I dont think I have time to revise for the tests OHMANZ.
Shagged + sianed + no motivation = all holiday mood's fault.
Just jokinggggg, not.
BORED.
T-T Cant get over ittttt.
/Just so you know, this feeling's taking control of me, and I cant help it.

Your love got me sleepwalkin'

2010-02-17T18:03:00.004+08:00

ADAM LAMBERT!
(Screammmm) His album is niceeeeeeeee
His songs are stuck in my head AND I'M NOT COMPLAINING ^^
OMGAWD, highly recommended! Try If I Had You (Current Favourite) and Sure Fire Winner! The latter's always heard in shopping malls just fyi! Aftermath sounds so much like Daughtry when he started the first line, omg Daughtry another major love.
I sound like a music junkie, which I dont mind ^^
Kay should start work soon (rolls)
/Dont look back on yesterday, its time we take a leap

FRUSTRATION

2010-02-15T23:51:00.002+08:00

EPIC FUNNY.
Kay shant be mean, its funny in a cute way kay! (look at her chubby smile omggg laughter only)

^(My face cant be anymore genk already) ARGH TMR GOING TEMPLE, GG. No time for work already Imma goner, needa chiong home which is like impossible pfft, pray people dont have time too yay evilllll.
Major ZZ, dont feel like doing work at all! But there's a pile waiting -.- plus plus there's pe on the first day of chool reopening noooooooooooooo.
Nooooooooo, I hate this. More holidays please? Heh, greed I say.
/Next to you, my love is true

Lunar New Year (Yawn)

2010-02-14T21:46:00.003+08:00

Am I the only one that dont like to celebrate CNY? I only like the holidays heh. Seriously dislike house visiting and saying 'happy new year' to whoever and whatever. Bleh distaste. Count me in on the angpows though (sly). Blogging now from my aunt's TINY laptop, seriously getting more and more fed up since the screen is FRICKING SMALL. Can you imagine me clicking on only 2 photos per time when uploading to my fb album ARGH frustrated. Still hv smore in my phone, but the computer cant detect my bluetooth PFFT. I know, major piss off I know. Kay peektures-I look better w/o the vest WEIRD.
p.s I like my white nails omgee.
p.p.s. SMONE JIO ME OUT FOR CNY PLEASE? Damn bored at home.

Fanily photo, my smile's damn fake rawr.

Jeromeeee~ Totally funny old man voice ^^

HAMBURGER, SHE'S DAMN CUTE.

First child to keep wanting to take photo with me + hold my hand and play games with me.

I'm officially popular with kids omgee.

Trying to imitate her lawl damn chubbie right!!!! (Shihui, it's hamburger's who chubbie lol)

Yay nicest chat in a long time (: Should totally have her as a sister lol, viewpoints are almost the same hearts only!

See what I mean!

Almost everyonee

WHY NO EEYORE. DISAPPOINTED T-T

Selca, I got more ley scratch head.

I'M DAMN BORED. Havent even went downstairs to play the swing and my mom's telling me to head home already WTHECK. Cant I relive my childhood huh. Damn proud of my white nails ha, lalala. Frick the hol hw la, dont the tchrs understand that we're busy like bees during this period of time? SENSELESS.

I wannna go outtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt, but nobody jio me WHY. Smone take the initiative pleaseh IM BEGGING YOU LOL.

Kay damn hot now, stupid small laptop emit so much heat FOR WHAT.

Seriously very hot now lol.

Kay off to see if I can go swing swing ^^

/I'm missing youuu, can you tell?

Singles Awareness Day

2010-02-12T21:31:00.009+08:00

I love how Valentines' make singles feel, wonderfully done.
Woke up early in the morning to do my hair, wonderful when I first came to school, disaster as time passed by. CaiShenDao made me epically high due to hilarious lyrics and the even more epic ZhaoCaiJingBao which isnt the version I wanted MAJOR TURN OFF. But ohwell, had a good laugh and srsly, CaiShenDao is the funniest CNY song of all, hilarious tune still have remix smore wonderful.
Outing with Click and I was so hot that I had to tie my hair up SO FRUSTRATING. I mean if I had knew this would happen, I wouldnt have to wake up so god damn early to do my mess of hair. COMPLAIN COMPLAIN COMPLAIN I LIKE. But I think I'm cute with that hair HEEEHEEEE, a little confidence wont hurt baybee. AWESOME DAY SPENT. Cause I practically bought everything I wanted and mannnn, I think its been eons since I went out cause there's so many nice things out there omg ~!
Wanted to actually watch Valentines' Day (I know ironic right) but no timing left zzz. Feb18's WOLFMAN OMGAWDDDD, I WANT WANT WANT LA.
Finally no more cross earrings already OOSH! And I saw velvet furry furry shoes MADE MY HEART SKIP A BEAT then try until sibeh hot, weather's haywire I tell you. Oh I finally got white nail polish OMGEE MY HEART SKIP 2 BEATS ONLY. Plus other makeup stuff blahblah not interesting.
OH OH FOOD RIGHT. I love MOF and Andersen's like hardcore love. UBER AWESOME. Been eons since I drank real good coffee and even though it set me back at almost 7 $, I was still a happy happy girl. Awesome fondue WHICH MADE MY SORE THROAT COME BACK FUCK. Can somebody pray for me to be in good health? Keep falling sick ): (prays now)
Sigh, hope I'll be feeling better tomorrow, God watch over me pleaseh!
Tomorrow's the eve is it? Couldnt be bothered srsly, but eggcited for the real thing. Am I making sense? RANT RANT RANT. Kay peektures la~
(whispers) I love my shoes omgee! ^^

SKIP 1 BEAT

SKIP 2 BEATS

omgeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee food food food.

Been a long timeeeee, (I'm cute! heeeeh)

This is funny in a sense lol

EPIC CUCUMBER FACE.

I love angles that are way too up/down, awesome baybee I say.

Go shoot yourself if you dont agree

See Meixin's hand block everything.

(wishpers) I like my shirt heeh

SPAZZ!

Stupid curly unruly hair.

Eh workload alot hor? GGDOTCOM how to finish sia zzz.

(Points at abrupt singlish, shrugs)

Iluma is high class but sparse (shops wise), I like going out and not wanting to go home.

I feel slack today (frowns)

Kay mug another day, please get well soon self, sigh.

Just downloaded Maroon 5's Songs About Jane album (I know its lag but you better myob kay) AND I'M FALLING IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN WITH THEM. Love their genre of soft/funk rock which is suitable for listening even when you're grumpy and in need of melo songs. Its ike soft melo emo songs meets velvet voice with a way of heartfelt expressions of awesome quality lyrics. WHAT MORE COULD I SAY! LOL, I know fangirl I know. You dont need another band if you have Maroon 5 omgee hearts much. Awesome talent we have here people! You could still listen to their songs even you're emo/happy/frustrated and still able to relate fully! HOW AWESOME IS THAT SPAZZ.

/(whispers) Yeah, I like you.

You've my heart in your hands

2010-02-09T18:13:00.004+08:00

SICK.
I.am.fricking.sick. (gives superdupersianed expression)
CNY's coming, I'm not done with the shopping yet, its overrr.
I See You-Leona Lewis, SUPER NICE OMG.
I've nothing to talk about but I wanna talk to you
Oh school's a bitch, no seriously.
/You're that brief moment where I hold on desperately to forever.

You and me, we're in the club now

2010-02-05T22:31:00.004+08:00

Totally agree with the tiny words in that picture. Ahh, emo pictures recently huh.

Release of results hallelujah, I'm feeling so alright. Emo-ed for the whole of chem period and recapped that I've only passed one subject in total, awesomely miserable. 2010's definitely not starting the way I wanted it to be, but let's just hope the end's way way way much better than the starting. Heart's been filled with worries recently, but pretending's a convient tool to use when its better to mask everything up you know. (What if econs/physics results dont show any improvement by like June or May or whatever? Fretting like hell) Its late and dance was so tiring today, no interest in it whatsoever, hopes it ends soon.

Sick.and.tired.of.this.bullshyt.
Miss Invisible-Marie Digby is SO NICE. Awesome voice, awesome lyrics <3

Time to mug soon, I guess argh irritating.

/Take a little look at this, at us, at where this is going, please?

What should this be?

2010-02-04T18:45:00.002+08:00

I like Noelle's and Tommy's one, classic.
Results are a bitch, I still have that sick feeling in my chest after ... now.
Tomorrow's gonna be another shock, though I already know what I'll be getting.
Help this feeling, help me. Feel so .. after everything, but this is just the starting. Frick it.
And yes, I do feel tired of pretending at times, so tired.
/You should have known by now.

]:

2010-02-01T18:12:00.001+08:00

Worst day ever.
H8 today.
Cant get this feeling outta my chest, pfft, sigh.

Baby you've eyes that smile

2010-01-30T14:40:00.004+08:00

My finger/thumb is recovering? Not that pain now, but still there nonetheless eew, dont like.
I do half a question and I got tired so I came online, how great can I get.
Should start on some work now, since there's fricking much this weekend, naise j2 life.
(I pretend not to know, not to care, not to think about this, cause ignorant is bliss but apparently, it doesnt work on me. Someone just tell me I'm just thinking too much.)
Rawr, so bored yet so busy.
Im not making sense.
Oh Oh, I wanna watch WOLFMAN! Saw the trailer, got seduced. LOL, naise sihua, your timing's great for every single thing.
Ahhhh, results coming out in 1 day? Frick, scareddddddddddd.
Kay work work work.
/Weekends' the time when I miss you the most

Addicted to y.o.u.

2010-01-29T19:17:00.003+08:00

Yay I love school.
Today was fricking tiring hi I was tired for every period! Whatthehelllll. Fuck, the ball totally hit my thumb during PE resulting in a loud CRACK and I'm still suffering miserably from the pain NOW. Yesh now, like after almost a whole day it still fricking hurts FUCK. Damn dulan-ed about the pain, why cant you just go away huh. Dont tell me I need to bandage my fucking thumb, this is so retarded.
Bad mood due to the pain for whole day. Massaged it but it wont go away, just die la freak. Then physics tio kp-ed by some random old hag who happens to be a teacher. Wtf is wrong with looking at a mirror you tell me, she's too ugly to look into one la frick. Then GP was frick Iwannasleep. Math was wthyoutalkingabout. Then Chem SPA, oohlala, I love it. Totally bored and tired, who cares about the ppt and it dissolving upon excess? GTH la srsly. Late release smore, THANKS LO. Then smth bad happened right then, fucking pissed me off. As if the day wasnt bad enough. Thanks you, thanks for your fucking honesty.
Afterwards went to eat ice cream, and slack. I like. Srsly man, you're a waste of my brain cells, like middle finger to you srsly.
Kaopei post I know, but do I look like I fricking care? Heh, ps for coarse language though, once in a while wont hurt.
I wanna wish the pain away, hopefully it goes away by tomorrow )':
And byebye to block, Immagoner.

Something always brings me back to you

2010-01-25T18:40:00.004+08:00

Major yawnage.
Slept on the bus and almost went to Changi Airport instead of home, luckily I was still in time to alight though almost fall down, (not again I know). School today was so tiring? I'm like almost sleeping everywhere, physics, on the way back from Mac, on the bus, damnit. I need coke lol. Coke=caffeine ^^
Thr's no hw recently right? But why do I get the feeling that people are studying anw? Gawd.
Thr's PE and CCA on Wed, Imma goner.
Btw, my complexion's like sai.
/There's no denying this now..right?

Can you feel me feel you?

2010-01-23T11:00:00.002+08:00

BLOCK'S OVER BAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Madness I say. Physics was a piece of shit but it was better than chemistry, flat. Monday will be the day we get back our chem papers (?) and I am utterly scared shitless about it, but let's leave that scared part for monday.
-
After block, Pang and I went out. Why she keep denying about - when its quite obvious? Tsk only. When to 2 places to find her album but all were closed down alr, how great huh, then in the end wanted to go Tampines to buy then walk around until forget (?) or at least I forgot, sorry! Couldnt decided on wht to eat so went up and down 2 times, until I got pekcek with her indecisiveness so went to Manhanttan (gr8 fish^^) Too oily though,. Talked about my sec sch life, she couldnt believe it lol, I hv no friends onez so shad rightz ]: cry only ha. Walked around to find album shops again and encountered some epic phail.
Then went to watch LEGION.
OMG ITS FRICKING NICE.
The main is like super cool and I got seduced by him? Too bad not shuai, just well cool. Meixin likes the old father, too good her taste. Legion made me like cua tio 5 times at the most non violent and not scary part LOL like suddenly take gun I will cua tio lol -.- I'm good baby.
Everyone should watch LEGION! Its good, and it was my first NC16 movie and violence/horror in a cinema HEHE. I was like super eggcited until I went in and got kinda tense LOL. But th ending's cliche and abrupt I dont like, and the way they intro the characs is like eyer but the action is good baybee.
Kay long wordy wordy.

The place we were sitting at was so cool ^^

I didnt know there were lights tht chnged color and I got shocked LOL

(Hungry)

This is good (points to the drink) Its uber large and I like it that way heh.

Kay I'm super bored and I've got nothing to do.

Gotta enjoy it while it lasts baybee (refers to alot of things)

Still bored though.

/Is it just me or is it .. ?

Queen of Nua

2010-01-19T13:49:00.002+08:00

Ya hi that's me.
3 more days to go, but it seems like an eternity. Srsly, ytd and today was one word-CUI. GP was wtf, why cant I finish?! Maybe its just me, but block's GP was the hardest GP paper2 ever, like ever. Even harder than promos? Wthell is this? Econs is T-T just give me a 35 just nice or somewhere near it, no 10s pleaseh.
Tmr's math but I hvnt even started, hooray, for the Queen of Nua (octopus wave)
I like wearing my hoodie and clap my hands cos it looks cute^^
I so dont feel like studying/doing anything for that matter.
Hurry hurry, 3 more dayszxz.
Off to more nua-ing. Hooray.
/So what now?

Redundant like hell

2010-01-17T17:25:00.005+08:00

This is like my mood now.
Too bad they dont hv frustrated as the word, but rawr's better than nothing.
-
Screw block test. Its the super most irritating test of all tests. I mean I get it why thr's MYEs, Promos and CAs, but block? Wtf? Like so out of no where, at least put it at March right then we can play for a while. This is so loser, esp the person who created it, damn retarded I tell you. And I told myself to get a half hour break and I end up resting until now! Frustrated like hell, screw everything damn irritated (over smth that cant be changed, I rock srsly).
-
I fricking dont know how to do case study la okay. Without essay's help, I'm a goner for econs, not that I can pass with it either but then at least my mark wont be that miserable right. I'm prostinating again, wonderful. Off to work and block test, go easy on me?
/Secret fear of losing you

I I I I I am tired of waiting

2010-01-14T15:37:00.003+08:00

Second day of school, and I see starz alr good luck to me srsly.
Still dont understand the gradient thing beginning to have premonition that the rest would be worse. Gonna ask ard when thr's math next time if I rmb ha. (Fish oils dont boost any memory or give you extra brain cells for memory either, its a scam I swear.)
I hate self intros, period. Totally nothing to say and I dont wanna say anything either, honestly just felt like saying hi at the time nia lol, sound like some lian. Gotta feeling that tomorrow's gonna be really cui for gp I mean, srsly intimidated by her. Shld I take this post down? Ha, ltr go search google for my blog ahhhh.
Thr's pe tmrrrw ): Worse still it's at the act healthy buay healthy time slot, naise only. Hope I get a really nice group for pe trainings subsequently or whatever you call that. I dont like to jump stairs walau.
I'm like kaopei-ing here lawl.
Should be studying srsly. Hi periodicity, you're a handful and a mouthful. Tmrw got little quiz, arse only.
Kaopei kaopei kaopeiz lulz.
Oh and thanks kueirong for ytd ^^
/Scent

Here and there, but not anywhere

2010-01-12T18:20:00.004+08:00

Rhyme la so cool my title.
Today and ytd was cui. Ytd was more cui, come back from flyer giving and I got fricking stomach flu wtf? Damn worried ytd and couldnt even sleep so being the drug abuser that I was, I downed tablets that induce drowsiness horray for drowsiness drugs^^ And frick today is so embarrassing (flip hair) perf-ed for 3 times, 1st time nerves got me like harry pocky. Couldnt stop 'shivering', (I forgot that word for dou =.= byebye english sad) Then 2nd at hall is so dumb, frick the loser boys in the front, see your neh la see. 3rd one was hurry hurry end but was the best ? Malu only, then run our asses to Milo truck, and spammed (free wht right)
Aye then lingered ard cause we didnt wanna go home, deliquents only.
Aye aye block wont be retaining us cept for those on conditional promotion? Why the Principal cheat us huh, but then better to be safe than sorry.
Oh and when you give out flyers, you need to smile and act polite and then act abit demure, so tiring onez abcdefg only.
I hvnt remove my makeup, lol poor complexion4lyfe shad only.
Need to speak in proper english rawrz.
Oh and we love gossip session/ah piao talking/no lyfe cartoon discussion lol.
And my ex clsmates couldnt recognise me on the bus wtheck? Waiting for them to call me but didnt even when I alighted wtheck! Got eye contact smore ley whyyy!!! Angry only.
Oh tmrw's 0730 go school, win lor, no need la sleep la huh, act healthy only 0730 go pe, rawr pleaseh, frustrated.
/No comment.

I'm that fool, the fool that sees only you

2010-01-07T22:05:00.003+08:00

Thanks zuoer, for listening and being there (: It still worries me though argh!
I'm freaked out. I still have gp and econs which the former had me spending 2 days but not getting it done too. I'm gonna get it done tonight I swear no matter how late, so frustrated argh! And econs, I've decided to copy, forget it man. Listening to songs on the com saves my phone battery alottttttt, I should do this often but so many distraction-fuck them. Woo so long didnt say any vulgarities I'm itching for them yeahh. Kay sounds wrong.
I wanna buy a tiny pendant !
Kay random.
Fuck the essay, I'm totally angered by it.
Oh and ballz to my revision too, its so screwed. My hols are so screwed damnit.
Abcdefg.
Gotta finish it off arghhhh, I'm like some rusty train trying to climb a mountain with no oil left. Marvellous. Rawr, fiery dude.
Miss, miss and miss - K. Will evokes all sadness and then spread, not sprinkle, salt on all your wounds. Lovely emotional song to help me complete my essay, abcdegf curses.
/You're the only one I need now; I miss you.