My eyes are starting to hurt from staring too long at the com screen (screw this)
(Do not read the below if you think its corked yp pmsing)
Heh Cy say I should stop cursing, ps it was a way to vent it out. She's too good tempered srsly, Mx has finally inherited my impatience and intolerance for any little thing that pisses us off. Is this making sense? Idk, I dont know you, dont act like you know me. Dont act like we're close, dont even act like you know every single thing about me. I dont even know myself, how could you understand me fully? You think I owe you. You think you're the victim. Get this: nobody owes you anything, especially me. You dont go changing personas in front of me. You make a decision and you stick to it. Dont go around trying to get my sympathy by being nice to my friends or even acting like you're oh-so-pitiful in front of me. I dont eat your shit. You dont get my trust by lying and making me 'feel' for your plight. Dont lie to me. Dont even try. My heart's messed up and I could make you shatter if I wanted to. I dont actually care about you if you wanna know the truth. If not for restraints by my besties4ever, I dont think your heart would be in one piece. I'm not bragging, I'm just saying that you ought to know where you stand, you dont belong here. Get out. I'm not mean or anything but its the truth and the truth always hurts. You gotta brace it, if you're not strong enough, get out. I dont trust you, and I dont think I ever will. Dont brag to me, dont act like you dont know. If you want something, say it. Dont beat around the bush. I hate that-it makes you look even faker than you already are. You think you covered up your tracks up pretty well huh. Well think again, I know it everytime you lie. You face and your eyes tell it all. There's no point lying to me, you know you cant hide it. Honestly, how long were you able to hold my gaze when you were lying or even talking to me? Think about it, you just cant make it. Give it up alright, I believe everyone's sick and tired of having to play this silly little meaningless game with you. Wake up, this isnt an illusion, this is truly what I feel. Dont try to pry into my life sucker, you just cant. Give up the thought, give up trying to know me, give up trying to fit in, you just cant. A misfit never fits in, what else do you think the 'mis-' is there for huh, english expert? Dont challenge me, you'll regret this, I swear.
Bet you'll be thinking 'you and your messed up heart, you pms-er'. Whatever, look at who's taking your side and who's taking mine. Why dont you reflect? Srsly, you're the most pathetic human being I've ever seen. Desperate, even when on the losing end; lying, even when you know it wont hide anything; lost, yet too cocked up to even find your direction back. You lack everything there is, and yet you dont even try to find anything back. Please, spare me the agony watching you wilthe away. Fuckz to you.
Finally, vented everything. So, today was ...... Not here not there, promos are driving me insaneee (inserts techno voice) Fun was relived for a little while, saw something I shouldnt have but the feeling wasnt there anymore. Lesser, I'm so grateful. Shared the news with mx and she was glad for me too (: Well, dl things still happened but we believe that we shouldnt lose our minds over a puny miserable~ Time heals all wounds, experienced it thrice, the pain was intense but so was the relieve after it was over, I'm really thankful for the things I've experienced, good or bad, for better or for worse, it made me growed up. And I'm thankful for that, sincerely.
Gonna study in like tomorrow, so beat up now, I couldnt even take in anything I read and I'm totally honest. (I'm not making sense but Idc)
Changing skin? Heh.
/The disappointment wasnt there, just a sigh of relief instead. This change, its irreversible, but its not meant to be, so goobye, my used-to-be.
Edit}couldnt find a decent skin, ohwells