Ohmygosh, I totally cant believe this, I will be having my first meet the parents session this year, in JC1. Omg no kidding, this is so embarrassing >_< After all these years of sparkly cleanless, its all ruined. Ruined I scream! And to top it off, she had to make me feel so guilty, so let her down, so bad, so useless and dumb. Take that back, I meant let everyone down. And she had to say it in a such a way that I could have done so much better, and her tone was so look down on me! Like totally flabbergasted at how she put it in that string of words. How could you! This, I swear, will be the first and the last. No more shitty nonsense ever. Ohwell, at least on the bright side, I've got new found motivation and confidence (so many assured I was better than this). Today was definetly a day of firsts, first meet the parent ever, first time knowing what the teachers really thought of me, first p-nage, first change of heart. Ha, no seriously, it happened twice but can I say Im quite sure of what Im feeling now? This thing, well it used to, but it didnt and isnt what it was like now. Twice, but this time I know it-I'm not gonna find it back. And I hope not to find it back. Looking at the bright side was never helping anything, it just highlights the bad parts even more and to be honest, I didnt know if this was what I actually wanted. It used to scream out loudly, protesting, but now it just faded into the backlight. Im sorry hun, balme it on my indecisive heart/brain.
We used to be the magic that created envy, now we are just the ashes created from the fire we once ignited. Babe, you know it was over long ago.