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♡ New year, new life, new me.
Friday, January 11, 2008, 9:21 PM
Actually said I didnt wanted to post anymore (cause wanted to outlast Gladys see who's the winner in not posting &showing her that I can keep my promise but then realised that we dont live our lives for others, so yup.)

Alot of things happened recently or rather during the days that I ddnt blog. &those things actually made my mood feel rly superbly down. Just cause I didnt mention it doesnt mean everything's alright.

CCA rly dragged my mood down the drain. Its not that I dont want to commit but I feel rather slacky as in we've sorta "wasted" lots of time on this thing &I dont think its ratehr worth it. Not that I'm under influence of ___ or that my attitude changed but its sort of a fact rly. I feel that at this stage alr we shld be conc on sth else( you noe wad I mean) rather than this. Its not if we'll be tested on this. &I tink our attitudes chnged drastically ever since we stepped up. Its as if we've grown further apart. I actually wanted to salvage this friendship but I didnt know if it was worth it so I just left it be.

I'm sorry if I've let you down but anything but I've said it once &I'll say it agn, I'm chnging.

My attitude's chnging- its started to become more concerned bout things that are obviously more impt &letting go of things that are seemingly growing less impt. I dont want to be too direct cos I'm afraid that some of you who're not that close to me will be rather or very shock at whats chnging inside me. But one thing's certain, I still find it hard to trust. Maybe its because of the many times I've been betrayed so I've grown to become a liar myself too. I noe this aint good so I'm trying to chng. Oh &a very good chng I find in myself is that I dont find myself doing things that I dont like. Eg smiling when I noe thr's nth funny bout it. So just accept it.

&&this is the super late new yr resolutions:( better late thn nvr)
1. study hard(er)
2. 11 points baby!
3. list my priorities &decide what's worth my attention and what's not
4. be more decisive
5. live for myself
6. dont get affected by how others judge me

Yay will be superbly happy if I'm able to accomplish the top 2 :D (Jiayous Sihua Baby)
So that's it for now, no promises bout the next post though.