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Thursday, May 24, 2007, 7:42 PM
Today's dance was cool- we sorta played those xin ling gan ying games so FUN! &we learnt a new dance step which I uber <3 Too bad I cant perform for it in bukit timah cc cause I wasnt selected yea. Weiing suddenly i need ur comforting &jasmine's ong encouraging words. Its lyk i met my fear today. Being a com member, &i'm not even selected in a performance which is supposed to be quite 'pick-the-outstandings' kinda thing. I dunno wat the others will say, &wat i will think of myself. maybe I wasnt even supposed to be in com cause its supposed to be those outstanding pple &i'm definetly not one of them in comparison wif dance skills. I didnt even intend to be so emo today de laar. I rly love the dance steps today but was rly disappointed tat i wasnt selected cause its not lyk i love every dance step taught. Am i being ks here or even compeitive cause its been a while since i was having this kinda emotion, its just tat i didnt show it. i cant wait to see u guys tmr so tat i can pour those sorrows out cause its so uncomfortable. feel lyk crying now so i'm listening to those 'happy' songs. maybe in jc i wont pick chinese dance as a cca anymore cause da standard's even higher thr. maybe i'll join hip-hop or modern contemporary. i'm so lost i'm not sure of wat i want.

So thr finally an outing tmr yea &i look forward to it but not my report book cause its gg to be frugly ugly. tmr's gonna be a mixed emotions day. Happy- gonna go out wif my budds. Sad/emo- my report book's gonna be v.ugly &it doesnt feel good looking at others scoring so high &urself dropping grade by grade lyk some uneducated person. &pple r sure to compare results. &i dont even know whr to start as in all the studying &filing &studying. thr's a whole pack of ws lying on my table. tats real pathetic &knowing that ur frens r starting to revise &pia doesnt make the feeling get better. &yea, the 2nd thing's bout the dance thing. rly disappointed laar. i guess i noe y but i'm not gg to type it out cause its gonna be hard to express. haiz. better pour out my sorrows to someone else b4 my feelings explode &i become a crying mess.

Cheers~